Part 2 of the blog series on attachment, trauma, and freedom—Why the path out of prostitution and abuse leads through relationships
Those who have been trapped in exploitation and abuse have learned that intimacy is dangerous.
Many survivors of prostitution, human trafficking, or organized abuse carry a deep mistrust within them—toward others and often toward themselves.
And yet, the very thing that was destroyed by trauma is the key to healing: attachment.
Attachment is not just a psychological concept. It is a deeply human process—the feeling of being connected, secure, and seen.
For people who have experienced violence under duress, attachment is both the source of their greatest pain and their greatest hope.
Research and practice clearly show that individuals affected by so-called trauma coercive bonding (TCB) or traumatic bonding do not primarily need confrontation or rational explanation, but rather relationship healing.
The study by Chambers et al. (2024) describes how deeply traumatic attachments alter self-image, perception, and the ability to trust. Many victims feel ashamed of mourning their abusers or even missing them—even though they know how much suffering they have caused them.
In psychotherapy or exit aid, this ambivalence often manifests itself in relapses, relationship breakdowns, or self-deprecation.
However, these reactions are not a sign of unwillingness, but rather an expression of a destroyed inner bond logic:
the nervous system has learned that security is only possible in connection with the perpetrator—even if they are also the source of fear.
In the work of Mission Freedom, we encounter this dynamic regularly.
People who have been exploited in prostitution carry not only physical wounds, but also deep emotional scars.
What they need most urgently is a space where they can experience connection again—without conditions, without pressure, without manipulation.
Trauma-sensitive exit aid means:
Professionals and volunteers working in this field need a deep understanding of attachment trauma.
This is because the impulse to want to “help” can quickly and unconsciously repeat perpetrator dynamics—for example, when boundaries become blurred or the emotional reactions of those affected are interpreted as “ungrateful.”
From a therapeutic perspective, the goal is to learn to experience attachment to themselves and others as secure again.
This often happens in three key steps
Stabilization:
Building security, routines, physical orientation.
Only when the nervous system is no longer permanently on alert can trust develop.
Relationship work:
Re-learning closeness, trust, and conflict resolution skills.
Professionals become “temporary secure attachment figures”—they offer support without being overbearing.
Self-empowerment:
Regaining one’s own capacity to act – the opposite of what perpetrators destroy.
Those affected should experience again: I am allowed to decide. I have influence. I am more than my trauma.
One of the most important findings from trauma research is that attachment injuries can only be healed through attachment.
No form of therapy or concept can replace the experience of being held in a genuine relationship—one that is reliable, mindful, and respectful.
This is especially true for people who have lived in a system of violence and coercion, where closeness was synonymous with control.
In exit aid, attachment can mean something different again: security, freedom, dignity.
Getting out is not a straight path. Many survivors take steps forward and backward—sometimes several times.
But every moment of genuine encounter, every conversation held, every respectful boundary is a piece of healing.
Bonding is what perpetrators destroy—and what helpers can make possible again.
That is why any form of relationship that strengthens security, dignity, and self-determination is a counteraction to violence.
For those who were bound by violence can only heal in freedom if they dare to bond again.
We would like to take this opportunity to express our sincere thanks to Jan Gysi and his excellent newsletter dated September 15, 2025, on current research, to which we owe this overview and summary of the key research findings.
Contreras, P. M., Wilson, N., Joseph, A., Valentine, S., Minahan, J., Reed-Barnes, S., Wightman, H., Dockery, J., Stahl, J., Kallivayalil, D., Kirsch, N., Waterman, B., Wilson, S., Greenberg, R. M., Carter, C., Eid, S., Ayala-Conesa, M. L., Sanchez, A., & Herlihy, L. (2025). The roles of adult attachment and complex trauma in sex trafficking–related coercive bonding: Entry, entrapment, and the challenges of exiting.
Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/tra0001951
Lahav, Y., Cloitre, M., Hyland, P., Shevlin, M., Ben-Ezra, M., & Karatzias, T. (2025). Complex PTSD and identification with the aggressor among survivors of childhood abuse.
Child Abuse and Neglect, 160, Article 107196. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2024.107196
Lohmann, S., Cowlishaw, S., Ney, L., O’Donnell, M., & Felmingham, K. (2024). The trauma and mental health impacts of coercive control: A systematic review and meta-analysis.
Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 25(1), 630-647. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380231162972
Chambers, R., Gibson, M., Chaffin, S., Takagi, T., Nguyen, N., & Mears-Clark, T. (2024). Trauma-coerced attachment and complex PTSD: Informed care for survivors of human trafficking.
Journal of Human Trafficking, 10(1), 41-50. https://doi.org/10.1080/23322705.2021.2012386
Shaughnessy, E. V., Simons, R. M., Simons, J. S., & Freeman, H. (2023). Risk factors for traumatic bonding and associations with PTSD symptoms: a moderated mediation.
Child Abuse & Neglect, 144, 106390. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2023.106390
