Dissociative identity disorder is the most severe form of post-traumatic stress disorder. It was previously referred to as multiple personality disorder. Specific identities are ingrained into children in ritual structures in order to control them.
++ Warning, this text contains triggers ++
Anyone regularly exposed to traumatic experiences during early childhood such as serious abuse is likely to develop dissociative identity disorder. A traumatic experience means that a child is unable to flee or fight their situation and merely survives by withdrawing internally. A child’s brain is unable to process the gravity of the situation fully and separates this experience in order to survive. They have no conscious memory of it.
Many people are familiar with such situations of shock in the form of car accidents. You do not remember the accident itself; yet somehow you climbed out of the car and maybe even helped others around you escape. You do not notice any serious injuries you may have.
If children are regularly exposed to traumatic situations in which they are unable to escape, these situations are not stored in their normal memory bank but rather disappear into a trauma memory. The memory cannot be consciously retrieved afterwards. For example, gang rape can be separated into many fragments such as smell, sound and images. All of these fragments are placed into an unconscious part of the brain like pieces of a puzzle. In the moment, the brain is unable to process what is happening and so stores it in its memory. The entire body is placed under high stress and adrenalin is produced.
In the case of dissociative identity, not only are fragments of memory separated but the entire personality breaks down into multiple identities. This is an extreme protection mechanism of the brain and helps the child survive extreme situations.
The stepfather of one-year-old Anna regularly crept into her room at night to abuse her. The physical pain and fact that a person of trust could do such things to her is too much for little Anna to process. She cannot escape and is helpless to the situation. She withdraws internally and has no recollection of the nighttime horrors. At the time of the first rape, Anna formed another identity. In a moment in which Anna felt unable to survive. This new identity – let’s call her Lara – appears whenever her stepfather appears over her body at night. Lara is unaware of Anna and only remembers the nighttime situations with her stepfather. Anna in turn is unaware of Lara and has no recollection of what her stepfather does to her at night. She sees him during the day only and enjoys spending time with him. He plays with her and reads books to her. Anna’s memories of her stepfather are positive.
Once the body has created one new identity, it’s easier for it to create additional new identities in other extreme situations.
Anna’s stepfather begins to pass her around his friends. They visit regularly and Anna has to sit with them. She doesn’t remember what happens after that. The atrocities of her stepfather’s friends are also too much for Lara. So, another identity is created – Lisa. Lisa then always appears when Anna’s body is passed around to friends of the stepfather.
This is how multiple identities are formed in one person. They share the worst experiences. Each identity is unaware of the other one. They each have their own unique memories and are unaware of the other identities’ experiences.
Those affected by DID are often unaware that they have multiple personalities within them. They do not remember the horrific events. However, it’s normal for them to have gaps in their memories and regularly find themselves in unexplainable situations. Through certain questioning, they learn to work out quickly and discreetly where and when they are at present. Sometimes, a particular identity may disappear for several months (i.e. is not currently being experienced). For this identity, it’s as though winter feels like yesterday, even though it’s now summer. Many things in their wardrobe are unexplainable to the identities as he/she did not buy them.
Sometimes, people have injuries or pain that they cannot explain. Sometimes, they are accused by others of having said or done something that they vehemently deny since they do not remember it.
People with multiple personalities often hear the voices of the other identities in their head. It’s normal for them to hear these voices. Some voices cry, others are angry.
Perpetrator groups have extensive knowledge of how consciously invoking near-death experiences helps to build new identities. The multiple personalities are not created “incidentally” for protective reasons but are deliberately targeted by the perpetrator. This allows them to create identities for everyday life and identities for life within the network. The individual identities can be accessed by means of external “signals” and trained to perform specific tasks. DID is a key mechanism for perpetrator networks to conceal their crimes. The victims are unable to remember the crime during their daily life and are therefore unable to give statements to the police. At the same time, perpetrators are able to turn people into modern slaves that change identity when given a code word and, for example, into a sex slave for the customer’s every demand. The sex slave identity has no memories of a normal daily life and only knows sex and abuse. The entire identity is built around this.
Survivors of organised ritual abuse have no recollection at first of the atrocities experienced. It is only during adulthood that fragments of these memories return to them. Memories of terrifying violence that they cannot explain. They think, they mull it over. They cannot explain the images in their head. They seem too frightening to tell to anyone else. Their childhood memories are simply of a model family. During their withdrawal however, this image continues to break down as more memories flood back, revealing a hideous, brutal and dark reality.
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The internal identities of a dissociative identity each develop their own character and differ somewhat from each other. This is due to the fact that each identity has different experiences and is used in different circumstances. Identities that spend lots of time in the body grow and mature along with it. The age of the identities may vary. Some identities are the same age as the body, others are younger and some are older. Age is determined by when the identity first appeared and the situation and age required to overcome it.
Depending on the situation, it can be useful for the identity to assume a certain age or even another gender in order to survive. Most internal identities of multiple personalities are younger, many still of child age.
The affected individual may have an adult body. However, if a younger identity is at the forefront of the consciousness, the person’s facial expressions and gestures change, their language becomes more childlike and corresponds to the age of the identity. Sometimes, the age of an identity also depends on the age desired for perpetrators of particular sexual services.
Identities are not only differentiated by age but also by gender and their gestures and facial expressions. Their physical condition and health can also vary. Some identities can barely see while others have excellent eyesight within the same body. Some have food intolerances while others can eat anything without any problems.
Anyone finding it difficult to image these multiple personalities or interested in scientific research on this topic should read the following scientific articles:
Michaela Huber “Multiple Persönlichkeiten: Seelische Zersplitterung nach Gewalt”